I am in the midst of a change in life with my beloved soon to be 11 year old son. And these changes are of course stirring up a lot of emotions, thoughts and feelings within me. To leave my child for a minimum of 3 months is not a very beautiful thought but there comes a time when a mother must "let go" and "let God" or at least make the attempt to. My letting go is at an usually young age considering a lot of mothers never ever let go. I am a strong believer that each child chooses his parents and the life that they will live and create through them. They wisely pre-determine the parents that will allow them to unfold as divinely and naturally as they are meant to in any given life while making sure that those parents challenge them enough to grow into their full being. Some of these challenges can be dreadful if the mundane mind cannot see beyond the child's purpose and path. After all who wants to even entertain the idea that a child chose an abusive parent to further their spiritual growth through those experiences. I know, but it is truth. And I believe that my son has chosen two perfect (for him) and loving parents for his journey this lifetime around.
I stand at the doorway of a new life. One that will lay the foundation and path for a new life for my child as well. Time is slowing diminishing as I spend what appears as the last few weeks before my departure to South America where I will partner up with a man who I admire and respect. Right now it's all business as I don't seem to be able to conjure up any images of what my love life will be like after I get there. It is all business right now for this Aquarius woman and mother.
My dreams, wishes, hopes and desires are all manifesting right before my eyes. A book I wrote just got released by a publishing company. This book synchronizes amazingly with my emerging new life and my contribution entitled, "The Food and Wealth Connectionk" so nicely describes the connection with my new partner. I, the Money Coach and Guru have linked up with the Raw Food Doctor himself. Oh how true it is that the universe works in codes and symbols. Asking us to decipher them or simply allow them for their meaning will eventually unfold. For I see a direct link here as I gaze in bewilderment and sheer excitement!!!
Anyway, my son is in school right now and I will not dare pull him out until he has completed the school year. So I am in the midst of renting my house, tying up loose ends, making sure things are in order for him before I leave - parental wise, health wise, emotionally educationally, personally, socially, etc. I am making sure that he has all he needs and that we spend the maximum and quality time together as though they were are very last. (And they are certainly NOT.) Thank goodness I can actually be grateful for technology (sometimes it is not my friend) because it will be the very thing that will keep us connected on a daily basis. Webcam and skype will become both our best friends while we are apart. I'll be able to check up on his school progress and work online and I can even help him with his homework via the internet and web cam. I'll be able to see his million dollar smile and know just how well Daddy is caring for him. Thankfully he has a dad that has been in his life from the start and who is no stranger to me taking off like the globe trotter I am, while leaving them to nurture their male and father/son bond.
So last Friday, I organized a meeting with all his teachers to further discuss my child and my coming departure and to make sure that they are well aware of the shift in my son's life now that he will soon have a mother in another continent. It is important that they are aware of this in the event that my son begins to act out the probable confusion that even his little inner baby may not be ready to accept, although his conscious self is the growing, big boy that thinks he can handle himself and who is handling my leaving very well. From the moment that I accepted this new opportunity, he was the first to know and we have constantly discussed this on a daily basis. The meeting was very productive and worth the while. There has been no other parent that keeps close contact with my son's teachers and this meeting was no exception to my strong passion for being a mother to my child and carrying out my role consciously. They all agreed that my son is very fortunate to have parents like us. And thus the respect that I ask of from them towards my son and I is solidly in place.I wanted to share a follow up note I sent this morning to his only African American teacher who has been a leading source in making sure my son is on track. She happens to be his math teacher and a single mother like myself.
Read on...
Good day Ms. C!
Hope this message find you in great spirits!
I want to apologize for Zen's tardiness this morning. I believe that he's been doing good in getting to school on time.
I also want to thank you, heartfully, for leading the parent/teacher/student conference last week Friday. I was very pleased with the teacher turn out and their feedback and concerns for my beloved son. And I am also proud of his Dad for taking time out to make it as well. He's learning as I have been clearly appointed by the higher power to be both he and his son's teacher. And no doubt they are also mine.
I am praying that I'll be able to come back for Zen during the summer to return with me for good. He would get a better education abroad and particularly in a bilingual environment. I am experiencing a growing sadness that I'll be leaving him and am spending as much time with him as possible.
I also just authored a book that's been released and have been busy with book signings, radio and tv interview, etc. It's such an exciting time for me and for my son. I am off to Florida tomorrow for a class and book signing on Saturday.
Off the record, I observed that all Zen's teachers are caucasian women. It's amazing how I noticed the difference with his last teacher at Piney Branch who was a male. I find that he does a helluva lot better with male teachers. I find that women teachers can get too emotional and this can instigate upset and a divide in communications. I noticed how Mr. Kim was a fine example of what I mean and Zen loves his class. He was able to see my son as he truly is and I took note. It does not sit very well with me that my son is being guided and taught by pretty much all caucasian women. I don't believe that they are capable of the depths of understanding and the cultural meaning of raising a young African American child. I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL!! And I have a BIG problem with that picture.
I know my prayers will be answered for Zen to be home schooled and or put in an environment that will truly support his individuality and who he is in heart, spirit and culture.
Please let me know if there is anything I can do or that you need
Thank you again for your support and leadership!! This in itself, stimulates a sense of peace within, knowing that you are in his corner.
Have a beautiful day!
Ms. N
Her Response:
Thank you so much for your kind letter. I do wish you well in your endeavors -- it must be nice to be brave...
Unfortunately it has always been and will be probably be for a very long time to come that most teachers are white female-- there are very few African American teachers unless you put us in a room together -- lol the shortage has existed as very likely a direct result of slavery and segregation. As for African American male teachers -- those who are educated tend to go for higher paying jobs -- there is no old family money to fall back on to help them raise a family on a teacher's salary so they either go in to administration very quickly or they never enter the field.
Sad, but true -- In my entire school career including graduate school I have had 6 Afrocentric teachers. One which taught PE and 2 who taught band. NONE at the college level! This is one major reason that I wanted to teach. And the only reason I teach down county, but again, money is an issue. I began teaching in PG county, so that I could influence African American children, but could no longer support myself or my child on the salary and benefits.
Ms. C
Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.—Thoreau
My belief is to live authentically and truthfully in every area of my life. And my truth is mine, whether or not someone else agrees or not. Each of us have a world of our own that exists within the world that engulfs many other worlds. Yet these worlds are connected and overlap with one another. When I don't live my truth, then I suffer and so does the rest of the world. My personal world and truth requires that I travel, that I spread my wings and sit on the round belly of the great earth mother and the diverse spots and natures that she is made of. My life and my values will sometimes differ from others, but if I try to live the values of others or be like others, I'll never be at peace. I am a pioneer. Always been a radical compared to the so-called norm. I believe in freedom & peace and I believe that my intuitive wisdom guides me towards that at all times. I step in and out of the matrix, very aware of its structures that oppose and assault my spirit and my heart, while I make sure I am a witness rather than get totally entangled in its treacherous web. I pray that the courage I carry will be that flame in my heart that keeps me alive...living fully and loving uninhibitedly.
My son's teacher sees my act as "brave", I see it as the next step in my journey and the healing of the earth. Perhaps it is through my act that she will remember who she is and the ancestral lineage that she is connected to. I am sure I am a light for her as much as she is a light for my son.
“Let me be a free man. Free to travel. Free to stop. Free to work. Free to choose my own teachers. Free to follow the religion of my fathers. Free to think and talk and act for myself.”
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce Indian Tribe
Whatever I do directly affects the spirit of my child. In living and following my dream, I encourage him to do likewise. No matter whether we are together or apart, my happiness, my inner peace is HIS!! So I can choose to stay here and be miserable disguising it as a mothers role and duty or I can leave to create a better life for the both of us - through my own healing and creative expressions while leaving him with a part of him that can now nurture his masculine powers - his father!!
We must truly be the CHANGE we so desperately desire!
This goodbye is just a symbol of a new beginning and a sunny HELLO!!
Mama ISIS
