Love's Fate!

We come more into our sexual power and wisdom as we age, and I'm truly enjoying this new stage in my life.

I actually am with a partner now and I love his energy. We are very much alike; he is an Aquarius. I actually met him (Ivan) about a year ago in DC. He was visiting from Ohio for the Inauguration. We have kept in touch since and have formed a pretty close relationship. He came to visit me here in Florida last month and we had a great time together.

While I was living in Maryland, from 07 to 09 I became involved with a brother named Steve. He had a sweet spirit, was funny and really caring. But what I would come to find out was that he also had a lot of baggage from past relationships and pain that he kept buried in his heart. So, as a result something what started out sweet became difficult. When I moved to DC I had just ended a 7 year relationship with the father of my children. I had told myself that I would take my time and not get involved with anyone for a while, but that didn't last! Anyway, after about a year into my relationship with Steve, I began to feel like he and I were not compatible. He was very insecure with the fact that my ex was very involved in the lives of our girls (and still is), he wanted to rush into meeting my girls (which he didn't) and he was controlling.

Needless to say I felt like we should just be friends. And we did, however during a romantic encounter on his birthday I became pregnant. I couldn't believe it, because I was not ready at that time in my life to have another child. So the pregnancy was difficult in the first few months. I had decided that I'd be moving back to Florida to be closer to my family and Steve was not happy about that decision. Anyway, I decided that moving was in the best interest of myself and the girls and I told myself I would do the best I could for my son whether Steve came with me or not. I had a lot of family and friends supporting me throughout my pregnancy, but Steve and I were growing apart. I so wanted him to come with me to Florida, to be with me, to meet my girls that I was holding on to the relationship even though it was not a very healthy one.

In March of 09 I flew my mother up from FL to drive back down from DC with me. On the day that we were to leave I felt like something was wrong with my son and I called my doctor. She advised me to get checked out before we went on the road. An ultrasound revealed that I lost my baby boy (We named him Samuel Isaiah) I was 7 months along. We were totally devastated, I felt like I would never stop crying because it seemed so unreal! I had felt him moving just the day before and now he was gone. I thank God my mother was with me at the time and so much of my family and friends came to be by my side. Read story


On April 1st of this year, I delivered my son. He was absolutely perfect and an autopsy revealed no cause of death or congenital defects. So I knew that his little Spirit was only meant to be in our lives for 7 months. My relationship with Steve opened my eyes spiritually, and mentally but mostly spiritually. I didn't understand what was going on in the midst of losing my baby but I decided to heal myself through the use of crystals, fasting, prayer, meditation, yoga and talking about what happened. Every day is an ongoing healing process.

I feel a lot stronger and I believe I understand why I had to go through what I went through. I hadn't been intimate with Steve or anyone since January of 09 but when Ivan was here to visit, I decided that I was ready to be intimate again, a very spiritual, and loving experience it was. When I had first met him I told him I was expecting and that I was in a relationship and when I lost my baby he was so encouraging and supportive when I was grieving. We had remained friends talking once in a while, and through emails, but nothing more than friends. But since I moved to FL, I decided I wanted to get to know him better, and I 'm so attracted to his energy, Spirit and everything. I feel so free with him and I'm thankful that I got to know him because it has been so worth it.


Love,
Mama Mystic Lover