An Angel Has Fallen Asleep!

He laid his little head on my left thigh. His eyes slowly closed as the look of an angel appeared on his face. I gently rubbed his back, his shoulders, his neck, his face, his head. He loves me to massage his thin little body. My hands gently stroking his long legs and slender arms, reaching over his two little buns, seeing how he will grow in to a strong, tall man some day.

Tears flow down my eyes, a drop falls on the soft brown skin of his face. I rub it into his forehead and his cheeks. I love my baby so much. He looks so healthy, so much more than before. I’ve kept him with me now giving him fewer and fewer times with his dad. For so long, proven over and over, I would see the look in my child's eyes every time her came back to me from his father. Is my son dying, I’d wonder? The life force in him was diminishing every time he returned from being around his father. Too much for me to swallow I would always move away from those thoughts, I would even force them out of my way because they were too hard for me to take. I just didn't want to believe it. I was in denial. It was easier for me to be blind.

One day during the summer of this year (09) I received a reading from a lady via telephone. We still have not met in person. In the reading she tells me that my son needs a lot of hugs and touch and that he will do well. Just give them to him she said. Lots of them. Today, I know it is true and I honor those words. His favorite request is “Mommy please massage me.” He asks me this almost everyday before going to bed at night. Now I make sure I give him plenty of touch. We both need it. We both are creatures of comfort, thriving on the magnetic power and healing force of touch. We’re both very affectionate. We’re both huggy, kissy kind of beings that are so perfect for each other. My son chose me well and I him. Oh, how I love him so.

After my son was born, I attended and graduated from massage school. I spent 18 months learning, appreciating and cultivating a growing respect and value for the human body. I am still amazed at the power of the body and what it takes on and is capable of, the depth and magic of our sensuality and our sexual energies. Healing touch is natural for me. I was so adept at it that I was massaging others for money from the first semester of my training. And I worked with and did exchange work with my teachers. But the modest little person in me would blow it off and was not able to see the power in me. I still don't have my license, but I know the power of my healing gifts and no standardized test can measure my worth. I do body work on those who I know and I will never stop doing it. I took the test for my license and failed. But make no mistake, I have not failed in being one of the best massage therapists there is.

When my son was an infant, I took a baby massage course. Thereafter, I’d massage him every single evening after his bath. It was our ritual. I learned how to do an abdominal massage that would carve out the words “I love you” on his tummy. The flow moved in harmony with the ascending and descending colon. Every now and then I still do the “I love you” massage technique on his tummy while saying the words out loud...III LOOOVE YOUUUU!



Why didn’t I teach other mamas to massage their babies? Perhaps it is to come in my future. Today, I have two girlfriends that have just had babies. I want to, I would love to teach them how to massage their babies. In fact, I’ve offered to them and to others on numerous occasions, but what I find is that they don’t’ take it seriously. And I know better than to force the idea on them. I know better than to force them see how important, how powerful, how necessary it is for them to learn how to give healing loving touch to their baby and how it will strengthen their bond forever and how beautifully and mutually beneficial it is. They are not taught that in their pregnancy months and moments. And a woman will listen to and believe everything their doctor or health care provider tells them, even when most of it is not true. I am not raising my child that way. I am his doctor. I am the one who knows and understands his body. And he knows it too. On the forms at his school, I am declared his doctor. I am his first physician.


When a mother follows her intuition, when she follows her heart, her children have a chance to really live, to thrive and to be who they genuinely are, they are able to share the gifts they came to share with the world. That’s our role. To bring those qualities out, to support and nurture and listen to our children not just with our ears but also with our hearts and with our whole body. To hear their cry in moments of confusion, to listen even when even mama doesn’t want to be bothered or when mama is too tired. To deeply listen when they are not with them, especially when we are apart. For I can still hear my child; his vibrations, his heart resonates and beats through my body, my energy field, and my heart. That’s why when something is wrong with him, I feel it, I know it, and I hear it from within me.




Love,
Mama Isis